*Disclaimer: No real pumpkins were harmed in the making of this random mush episode. Fried for your entertainment and baked into pumpkiny Halloween goodness…
WebSpinstress
New England pumpkins and apples…great for more than feeding and decorating. Nature’s natural weapons. lol
Faustus
I should run my self defense class using pumpkins
WebSpinstress
Hehehe…when your students can “hi-ya” the pumpkin and carve out a Jack-o-lantern with their bare hands, that’s when they will be considered masters. LMAO
Faustus
Screw carving it with power tools… I carve my pumpkin with Chi and pure violence.
WebSpinstress
Look…the spider web….chop..kachink…plunk… 
Faustus
And with only 1 casualty! …someone call an ambulance so we can get Billy’s spleen back inside him
WebSpinstress
Not bad, not bad…no fatalities for the day today. Tomorrow we shall master the throwing up pumpkin technique.
Faustus
hwarf
WebSpinstress
No…not after you eat it. Only fingers allowed this time. You have to jam them straight through the rind and rip out the innards with no hand chopping. Finger strengthening. lol
You should SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO make a youtube video on the art of mastering the pumpkin technique!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Faustus
“how to defend yourself against gords and pumpkins”
WebSpinstress
Yes and then how to defend yourself using them. lol
Faustus
*raises the pumpkin high above me and smashes it straight down onto your head
HUMAN JACK O LANTERN
render your attacker blind!
and let the hilarity ensue
now light it on fire!
WebSpinstress
LMAO!
*spitting seeds into your forehead….
Watch your eyeballs…
Faustus
AH! *throws lit tea lights into the pumpkin setting your head ablaze
WebSpinstress
*Pulls flaming lid off the top and whips it at your head…
Hold on….loading up a pie crust with boiling pumpkin mush.
ok…continue.
mmmmmmm
Faustus
*drops like a sack of potatos from the flaming pumpkin
*shakes off the burning bits and runs to get my carving tools
WebSpinstress
Ahhhhhhh
Faustus
*runs back out with a rather large kitchen knife and a serrated chunk of metal
Hi!
*throws the kitchen knife at you, sticking it to your sternum
WebSpinstress
*catching falling flaming pumpkin chunks, rolls them into a firey ball….sprinkling with pumpkin spice….bakes them into muffins….
Loads them into cannon….
Haha!
Faustus
…all with a knife stuck in your chest
….oh crap.
WebSpinstress
Yep 
Faustus
…that knife is really nice tho
WebSpinstress
*Grabs a spoon and mixes head full of boiling pumpkin guts….
Watch out – it’s hot! Pumpkin soup
*Flings a burning spoonful in your direction
Faustus
*attempts to dodge… only taking 2nd degree burns on my arm
HOLY FLAMING PUMPKIN NAPALM BATMAN!
WebSpinstress
* Stabbing falling flaming pumpkin chunks with an arrow
Mwahahaha
Kachink….got your leg
Faustus
*runs at you, cutting at…. falls down from the arrow
…ow.
WebSpinstress
You’re forever branded by the flaming Jack-o-lantern
That one was in the shape of a skull though, so now you match Porkschop…ironically.
Faustus
*hobbles at you with the serrated chunk steel and tackles you… pinning your arm and sawing off your hand
WebSpinstress
*Falls over one-handedly and accidentely smashes the pumpkin head into tiny embers. 
Oh, pooey!
Faustus
*starts carving your hand to look like a horrific hamburger helper clone
*makes it dance like a dark puppet of finger meat
nom nom nom
lol
WebSpinstress
*Kicks a pile of embers your way in hopes of revenge. But use them to crisp the fingers first! Easier for digestion…
Faustus
oooo bbq WebSpinstress fingers. *gets out some sweet & sour dipping sauce
WebSpinstress
*Shoots out spinning web then breaks out black widow teeth and chomps you in the neck…
Hehehe..backup abilities.
Faustus
*grabs you by the back of the face and throws you against the wall, clutching my neck as the venom sinks in
WebSpinstress
There. You lose. 
1 more point for WebSpinstress!
Faustus
*dies… and waits….
*twitches…
*ceases to breathe…
*is still…
…….
*eyes jerk open
*sits up, not breathing…
*stands up but stays crouched in a low hunting position
WebSpinstress
*raises the pumpkin high above me and smashes it straight down onto your head
ZOMBIE JACK O LANTERN
